I Told Her Lies

I took my baby home one night after a picture show.
She said, "Rob, I'd like to take you in, but first I need to know:
Is it my body that you want, or the real girl inside?"
So I looked deep into my heart and I told her lies.
Yeah, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big and little, long and tall, every shape and size,
And when she unlocked the door, I knew I'd won the prize.
I couldn't tell her what I thought, so I told her lies.
Well, livin' on love would not do; she had to tie the knot.
We bought the rings and made the plans quicker than a rifle shot,
And when the justice said, "Now, do you swear?" I gazed into her eyes,
And in a voice sincere with fingers crossed, I told her lies.
Yeah, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big and little, long and tall, every shape and size,
Till when I heard the word "forever," 'twas then I realized
I couldn't tell her what I thought, so I told her lies.
Now as the years went drifting by, temptation slowly grew.
I'd stalk a tramp from time to time; I even slept with two,
But no matter how I betrayed her, I made sure to keep it hid,
And every time she got suspicious, well, you know what I did:
I told her lies; I told her lies.
Well, I chased women long and tall, every shape and size.
She kept bein' faithful; I kept up my disguise.
I couldn't tell her what I'd done, so I told her lies.
Yeah, we lived on in perfect bliss and then one day I died,
And as my soul flew heavenward, I looked below and spied
A graveside filled with mourners and everyone in tears,
And when the preacher rose to speak, I could not believe my ears.
He said I'd been the kind of man all others aspire to be:
A loyal friend, a loving spouse; that rat lied more than me!
So fellas, if you want to stand tall in humanity's eyes,
Just pay no mind to the laws of God; keep tellin' those lies.
Yeah, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big, little, long and tall, every shape and size.
I shunned the good; I spat on the true; all virtue I despised.
I couldn't tell her what I thought, so I told her lies.
I told her lies.