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An Irish Pub Song Lyrics

There's a county map to go on the wall,
A hurling stick & a shinty ball,
The bric, the brac, the craic & all,
Lets call it an Irish pub,
Caffreys, Harp, Kilkenny on tap,
The Guinness pie & that cabbage crap,
The ideal wannabee Paddy trap,
We'll call it an Irish pub,

Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I swear upon the holy book,
The only 'craic' you'll get is a slap in the ear,
Whale, oil, beef, hooked! I'll up & burst yer filthy mug,
If you draw one more shamrock in me beer!

We'll raise the price o' beer a dollar,
We'll make em wear a shirt & collar,
We'll fly a bloody tri-colour,
And call it an Irish pub,
Jager bombs & double shots,
The underagers think its tops,
We'll spike the drinks & pay the cops,
We got us an Irish pub.

The quick one in the filthy bog,
The partin' glass across the lug,
O' the lady-O, the dirty dog,
We got us an Irish pub,
It's over to me and over to you,
We'll skip along the Avenue,
And who t'hell is Ronnie Drew?
We got us an Irish pub.

Plasma screens & neon lights,
Kara-farkin-oke nights,
The bouncers they can pick the fights,
We'll call it an Irish pub,
Plastic cups, a polished floor,
We'll hose the blood right out the door,
And let the knucklers back for more,
We got us an Irish pub,

Oh top o' the mornin', Garryowen,
Kiss me I'm Irish, Molly Malone,
Failte, Slainte, Pog ma thon,
We got us an Irish pub,
Spike the punch & strip the willow,
Strike me up the rakes o' Mallow,
The Liffey never ran so shallow,
We got us an Irish pub.
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Cover art for An Irish Pub Song lyrics by Rumjacks, The

A few translations/explanations here: 'Craic' can be fun or action; it's used as both I think "Shinty ball" is actually Scottish, it's a game vaguely similar to lacrosse. Caffreys, Harp and Killkenny are all Irish alcoholic drinks Farkin is a corruption of a naughty word. Ronnie Drew was the lead singer of the Dubliners. He also worked with the Pogues. Garryowen is a town in Ireland near Limerick. Failte is welcome in Galic, Slainte is "to your health;" and Pog ma thon means "kiss my" a word I can't say here. Liffey is one of the rivers in Dublin.

Overall I believe this is about one of the thousands of so-called Irish pubs in America, which is about 5% accurate to a real Irish pub. Americans haven't done this to just the Irish; there are also Scottish and British pubs just like that all across America.

 
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