The Zookeeper's Awakening, or, the Remarkable Transgression After Hours at the Zoo (A Drinking Song for Animals)

Look here, you animals - do as I say! I'm in charge here!
Jump! I said Jump! Plié! Arabesque! Do you hear me?
You're big and you're daft and you're worth nothing more
than a fistful of peanuts swept up from the floor
And you're hey diddle diddle de fiddle de doo ...
What's that you say?
Hey diddle de fiddle de diddle de diddle de doo ...
Oh little zoo man, how funny you think that you own me.
But I've got a new way to serve you and soon you will see ... ha!
I'll serve you my knuckle sandwich with crumpets and tea!
Yes, I'll feed it to you in my pachyderm glee
and my hey diddle diddle de fiddle de diddle de doo ...
A crumpet stampede!
Hey diddle de fiddle de diddle de diddle de doo ...
How'd you like to see a death wish on tippy-toe
rhinoceros upon the precipice of gloom and doom?
She was not created for your amusement or your voyeuristic thrill
that sends a chill down your erectus homo sapien spine.
I'm just a man but I might understand if you'd show me ...
Show me the ways of your nights and your days
beneath feathers and furs and dark hides!
I'd fancy the notion that I'd see a view with a sip of your potion, a nip of your brew,
And your hey diddle diddle de fiddle de diddle de doo ...
What's that you say?
Hey diddle de fiddle de diddle de diddle de doo ...
Scatter the ashes and shatter the bones of the captain!
(Hey-up! Throw down the bones!)
Shiver the timbers and burn down the homes of the town!
(Hey-up! Burn down the homes!)
Just look at those freaks on the opposite side of the fence
With their boggling eyes and their humanly stench
And their hey diddle diddle de fiddle de diddle de doo ...
I can't hear you!
Hey diddle de fiddle de diddle de diddle de doo ...
How'd you like to see a death wish on tippy-toe
rhinoceros upon the precipice of gloom and doom?
She was not created for your amusement or your voyeuristic thrill
that sends a chill down your erectus homo sapien spine.
*instrumental with animal noises*
Once in a century, once in a lifetime it happens:
When without doubt you will stand up and shout 'I'm a slave to none!'
We'll beat on the pens and the cages that hold us
And drink to the old days when civilisation revered us and feared us;
We'll pour a libation so raise up your paws, and your hooves and your claws!
Time to drown all your sorrows and sing your wild hearts
With a hey diddle diddle de fiddle de diddle de doo ...
Sing out your wild hearts!
Hey diddle de fiddle de diddle de diddle de doo ...
What's that you say?