Funneling Fun at a Funeral

Funneling fun at a funeral
This eulogy is plagiarized
Commence the keg and casket stands
No one wants to live forever or die
Alone, at least
That’s what I tell my shrink
Whose advice seems
Smaller every week
I think she made a pass at me
She’s the napkin in the lap of insanity
Roll, roll, roll in the mud
Until our shirts are soiled
Shit, let me take your temperature
Your blood must of boiled baby
From throwing bouquets
And hand grenades
At all the wanna-be brides
Well, we hate weddings sure
Since the woman in white
And the man she groomed to marry her
Bear no resemblance to the way
We want to live our lives
You’re awful pretty
You’re pretty awful
Your heart’s the tar pit
And I’m the fossil
You’re awful pretty
You’re pretty awful
Your heart’s the tar pit
And I’m the fossil
Shouldn’t hang around me anymore
I’m getting’ close to the end of my rope
And I must be a citrus fruit that pissed you off
Cause you want to beat me to a pulp
But if that’s a paycheck in your pocket
Let’s sink into the swamp, let’s turn into toads
Stick out our tongues and hope we get hopped up
But not hopped up enough to croak
Roll, roll, roll in the mud
Until our shirts are soiled
Shit, let me take your temperature
Your blood must of boiled baby
From throwing bouquets
And hand grenades
At all the wanna-be brides
Well, we hate weddings sure
Since the woman in white
And the man she groomed to marry her
Bear no resemblance to the way
We want to live our lives
You’re awful pretty
You’re pretty awful
Your heart’s the tar pit
And I’m the fossil
You’re awful pretty
You’re pretty awful
Your heart’s the tar pit
And I’m the fossil