The Good Book Song

Now, God said to Noah, "I don't want no sinnin'
I been tellin' ya this since in the beginnin'
You gotta round up your sons and all of their women
Because you're goin' on a big boat ride
Now gather all the animals by the pair
Build a big ship, about a million square
And put all the animals right in there
And sail away on the tide"
But what if Noah had just said, "No suh?"
Well, we'd all have fins and scaly skins
We'd breathe through gills instead of nostrils
And we'd eat fish food 'stead of vitamin pills
It's scary but it's true
So do what the good book
Do what the good book
Do what the good book tells you to
Now, God said to David, "Do you hear that drummin'?
You got a great big Philistine army comin'
You wanna oil up your sling and really get it hummin'
Because you're gonna take a big guy down"
Well, David, he got a dose of frights
But he wanted to be king of the Israelites
So he put old Goliath right in his sights
And he bounced one off of his crown
But what if David had whined and wave-ed?
We'd live like slaves to Philistine knaves
Our bosses would all be thirty feet tall
We'd wash their clothes with a fire hose
And we'd sleep in the cracks between their toes
(Oh, I don't like that at all)
(Well, that's not very nice)
It's scary but it's true
And if I were you
I'd do what the good book
Do what the good book
Do what the good book tells me to
Oh yeah, yeah yeah
Do what the good book tells me to