A Cup of Trembling

Why? Why do I search for the reasons,
never content just to be?
Something is waiting and something is near
Not found in battle and not found in love of the earthly sort
These won’t last
Mere shadows of glory
God! Here stands a man who can claim such
What sort of madness is this?
Here in Judea, a land full of prophets
and quoters of scripture,
a carpenter’s son has the gall to claim
He is God, the keeper of glory
I’d hoped to find glory, but never like this
See, I thought I could win it
Thought I could make for myself a crown
I would find what I sought at the point of my spear
Yet this man, he speaks so clearly
Heaven, Heaven, and only there
I’ll find what I need
I’ll find what we’ve all lost
That kingdom called glory
No! Maybe I just need to grow up
Starting to sound rather mad
Melodramatic, a hopeless romantic
Just like the rabble, the poor and the blind
They follow him
They can keep him
This won’t last
And this isn’t glory
I’d hoped to find glory, but never like this
I thought I could win it
What I yearn for, somehow earn more
I’m a soldier and a Roman and a champion of the law
Yet this man, he speaks so clearly
Heaven, Heaven, there and only there