The Whiskey, the Liar, the Thief

He was brought up like a sailor
A pirate of the streets
Stealing booty, booze, and dirty magazines
The rainy days come, the rainy days go
The whiskey, the liar, the thief
She was coddled like a princess
And promised as a bride
Lady Jekyll had a secret life to hide
So through the window she’d creep
When her father fell asleep
The whiskey, the liar, the thief
She bats her eyes and lies about her ring
He used the coin he stole to buy the drinks
Never thought they’d find love
Drowning sorrows at the pub
The whiskey, the liar, the thief
He never made an honest buck
She only borrowed from the truth
They were the greatest match that hell had ever seen
But if you reap what you sow
It doesn’t matter where you go
The whiskey, the liar, the thief
She bats her eyes and lies about her ring
The coin he stole is buying all the drinks
It’s the devil’s first mate and a drunken runaway
The whiskey, the liar, the thief
A round for our two lovers
In this barstool fairy tale
Giving something for us bastards to believe
You never think you’ll find love
Drowning sorrows at the pub
With whiskey and liars and thieves
A toast for those who stole another day
A round to those who lied to get away
And to those who found love drowning sorrows at the pub
Someday you’ll find love drowning sorrows at the pub
Never thought they’d find love drowning sorrows at the pub
The whiskey, the liar, the thief.