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Stay-At-Home Soldier Lyrics

the city I live in is always covered in cream
and the ladies walk on crackers
I spend my days locked in my bedroom
where no one can see me fracture.

I'm a stay-at-home soldier
and I'm training to be the fastest
I'm a stay-at-home-soldier
and I only get paid in ashes

I could simmer in poison for 24 hours
and never be defeated
I could almost drown in cheap champagne
and still I wouldn't get conceited

I'm a stay-at-home soldier
and Im training to be the bestest
I'm a stay-at-home soldier
and I always make time for breakfast
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