Plans

Why do I feel like I'm almost home? I didn't want to ever let you down

> I feel regret. I feel like I was so close to happiness. I tried so hard to make you happy. I'm not sure where I fell short. I wanted you and happiness so much.

Once we could talk about anything. Start anew then out out of my reach You're out of my reach

> We had such a good thing. We tried something new. It went on for a while, but it didn't work out. Now, it's too late. I still want it to work. I don't know if you do...?

And I never felt so alone like that before And I waited for you to call and tell me to be strong

> I spent so much time yearning. Waiting. Wanting to talk to you. For you to want to talk to me. But you don't seem to want me. I needed you support.

But you got so cold Bold enough to turn to my turning face And every time Every time you look at me that way I couldn't speak. Couldn't say anything.

> When we did talk, you looked at me in a way I couldn't handle. You saw through me, saw things you resented or things you originally appreciated but then started to hate. You always seem far-away and distant. I didn't know what to say when we were together. I didn't want to piss you off and I didn't want to scare you. I miss you. I sometimes hate you for doing this to me. For ghosting me. I feel so many things. You feel so many things. Our looks, feelings - they're overwhelming.

I watch leaves change in the fall I didn't notice this before

> I'm watching the end of something (Autumn marks the end of a year). That something is our relationship. But it also means there could be renewal later. But it doesn't feel like that right now. Why was I so blind to what was broken between us? Why didn't I see what was right in front of me? The changes? The distancing?

But you walked away When I wanted you there

> I needed you, but you had already decided you were far away. Maybe you were distancing yourself from me BECAUSE I needed you. Maybe you felt that was too much. Maybe it was too much commitment or something.

Come along and take me up Maybe we could try again

> I'm going to dream about "us" working for efffffing ever, mostly because I didn't get closure. I still believe that we can "work" even though you disappeared, and we grew apart, and one of us (author) didn't notice. And now it's too late... I still have hope. It's probably misguided, but it's still hope. Without hope, we are nothing.

Cause there were still things I wanted to say But I was so young I was too afraid that nothing could be saved

> I realize some of what I/you/we did wrong. I never got to tell you how I felt, where I saw us going, what I thought our life could have been. I never got to ask you if you wanted those things, too.

> I never got to tell you about my hopes and dreams because you didn't want to listen. You still don't. And yes, I need to stop wanting to say those things, to stop feeling the pain/anger/blame, to move on. But I can't. It meant more to me than you. You ghosted me.