Award Show

I'm such a loser, I never win anything
Except that ticket that I scratched
Said I'm a winner $20
And since then my life has gone downhill
That's why I gotta have my own award show
Where I'm the guest host
And you can't win anything
Unless you're me
And you know the fix is in...
Cause I'm on every channel and I'll make them hate me
While the nominees all try to imitate me
But I'll be such a bastard and say:
"You're so pathetic, go back home, you've got no talent"
And they will weep and wanna die
That's why I gotta have my own award show
Where I'm the guest host
And you can't win anything
Unless you're me
"Oh, thank you, thank you, it's such an honor. I wanna stand like this forever. In a just a minute I'd like to thank all the people who made this happen. And after that I'd like to make a speech, to change the world and make a difference. All the people who made this happen, they don't matter. I wanna thank me! Mother, father, god and country... What are they do? I wanna thank me! I see you sitting and staring at me, powerless to even touch me. Your eyes so full of seething hatred. I wanna stand like this forever. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you"
That's why I gotta have my own award show
Where I'm the guest host
And you can't win anything
Unless you're me
And you know the fix is in...
At my award show