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It Was My Season Lyrics
Tell me a reason
To break things off,
Or stop the bleeding,
When it's my season.
My mind was just revving.
Your eyes, they went hard.
Our parents were freaking,
But it was our season,
All that time ago.
And if you want to stop our "thing" you'll stop my heart.
All this pain inside's still just too sharp.
What was I thinking?
Step out of your trailer
And into this dark!
It's warm and it's breathing,
And it's our season.
Your dad is half sleeping.
But, really, he's gone.
Can you hear his VCR weeping?
They crossed his wires completely
When they made him fire that gun.
I'll say to you: to cut it off's to cut me down...
If they take me out of school, you out of town...
I called a friend, my world at end, my words unwound.
I said, "It's crashing down around our heads".
We're dumb. We're dead. Shut up about it now.
I won't say I'm sorry, and how would they know?
Below the Atari I could feel your heart was just going.
We'll meet on the weekend. Your dad won't be home.
Your sister's out cleaning.
You don't need to speak it, because I know,
Baby, I know. I said I know.
You know I know.
That it was our season.
It's hard to believe it.
There isn't a reason.
It's only a feeling...
When I look back on it now, remember how
Mixed up I got before they got me sorted out...
All that heart-in-my-mouth,
All that head filled with doubt,
It's fading out.
I hardly think about it now.
They say that I'll go to college
And you will stay home
And watch while I'm leaving,
And the cold will just creep in.
Oh, Jason, I know.
To break things off,
Or stop the bleeding,
When it's my season.
Your eyes, they went hard.
Our parents were freaking,
But it was our season,
All that time ago.
All this pain inside's still just too sharp.
Step out of your trailer
And into this dark!
It's warm and it's breathing,
And it's our season.
But, really, he's gone.
Can you hear his VCR weeping?
They crossed his wires completely
When they made him fire that gun.
If they take me out of school, you out of town...
I called a friend, my world at end, my words unwound.
I said, "It's crashing down around our heads".
We're dumb. We're dead. Shut up about it now.
Below the Atari I could feel your heart was just going.
We'll meet on the weekend. Your dad won't be home.
Your sister's out cleaning.
You don't need to speak it, because I know,
Baby, I know. I said I know.
You know I know.
That it was our season.
There isn't a reason.
It's only a feeling...
When I look back on it now, remember how
Mixed up I got before they got me sorted out...
All that heart-in-my-mouth,
All that head filled with doubt,
It's fading out.
I hardly think about it now.
And you will stay home
And watch while I'm leaving,
And the cold will just creep in.
Oh, Jason, I know.
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I love the impact of the last line of this song, when suddenly you realize that it's more than just the story of two teenagers in a typical forbidden relationship. When you realize that both parties are presumably male, suddenly the penultimate verse becomes SO depressing.
"When I look back on it now, remember how mixed up I got before they got me sorted out...." He looks back and ignores the passion he felt earlier in the song, saying he was just "mixed up" for having feelings for another man. When he says "all that head filled with doubt," the doubt he's experiencing is the relationship itself. Convinced that his feelings were immoral, he hardly thinks about them anymore. An appropriate narrative for a song taking place in a small town during the 80s.
I love the detour the song takes to talk about Jason's dad and his experience in the war. It seems completely unrelated, but it emphasizes the character's strained home life and also mirrors the main theme of the song. The line "They crossed his wires completely when they made him fire that gun" shows how social expectations can rob your comfort. The war took away Jason's dad's peace of mind, just has homophobia took away the narrator's security in his romantic feelings.
Another interesting thing I realized about this song is that it's really similar to "A Favor" from their EP "Sleep and Wake Up Songs." A story of two teenagers in a vague romantic relationship, contrasted by descriptions of one character's father in the war. The line "I would be anything that you wanted me to be, but how could I change my body?" makes a lot of sense if you assume the speaker is a man uncomfortable with his feelings for another man.
Firstly, I think your interpretation is awesome and you articulated yourself well. I've been mulling this song over in my head for a few days now. Obviously it's beautifully written and insanely catchy for an Okkervil song but I'm not entirely sold that it is about a homosexual relationship due to the fact that Will Sheff has written many songs from a female point of view before (Starry Stairs for instance), and, as far as I can see, the narrator does not distinguish themselves as a male at any point.
Firstly, I think your interpretation is awesome and you articulated yourself well. I've been mulling this song over in my head for a few days now. Obviously it's beautifully written and insanely catchy for an Okkervil song but I'm not entirely sold that it is about a homosexual relationship due to the fact that Will Sheff has written many songs from a female point of view before (Starry Stairs for instance), and, as far as I can see, the narrator does not distinguish themselves as a male at any point.
That being said, your interpretation is the best I have...
That being said, your interpretation is the best I have seen so it's tough to argue with.
paulleonard666on, that's true, but this album is supposedly autobiographical. so unless the story isn't necessarily being told from his perspective, it would seem that it's his pov.
paulleonard666on, that's true, but this album is supposedly autobiographical. so unless the story isn't necessarily being told from his perspective, it would seem that it's his pov.
I considered the possibility that this song was written from the female perspective but the fact that this record was billed as an autobiographical one and the fact that the narrator waits until the VERY last line to reveal the gender of the love interest in the song leads me to believe otherwise. Ambiguity in gender is rarely accidental (reference "The Bagman' Gambit" the Decemberists).
I considered the possibility that this song was written from the female perspective but the fact that this record was billed as an autobiographical one and the fact that the narrator waits until the VERY last line to reveal the gender of the love interest in the song leads me to believe otherwise. Ambiguity in gender is rarely accidental (reference "The Bagman' Gambit" the Decemberists).
@CrayonPrince I think you're spot on and I feel the same way listening to this. Thanks for sharing
@CrayonPrince I think you're spot on and I feel the same way listening to this. Thanks for sharing