Two Girlfriends

I used to have two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about 1
Two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about...
Yeah, yeah, I'm back again
Throw a hashtag in front of that trend
Huffing and puffing so let me in
I just need a little bit of medicine
Oh no, strap on my sneakers
You don't need to play
Watch from the bleachers
Ice so shiny that it gives you seizures
Plus I balled alopecia
And I'm sorry, I gotta do this here
But you hang with dicks like a pubic hair
With an icy stare, got it worse than medusa
Got me rock hard, shootin' off bazooka
Yeah, yeah, I said it too
This is life, no edit-undo
What the fuck did I get myself into
(I wish I knew)
I used to have two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about 1
Two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about...
It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings
And Adele ain't on this track
Did I say that? Oh yeah, I must have
Black and yellow, burger mustard
Not even just a little bit flustered
Write it all down while I'm waiting at the bus stop
Looking at a girl with a Skrillex haircut
Thinking to myself, "Oh my G-d, this is America!"
Haha, this is blasphemy
Get away with it like Casey Anthony
Mixing chemicals, this is alchemy
Drunk as fuck, hold the kid off the balcony
(Thriller!) Zombie killer
Manila envelope, anthrax in the middle
Girlfriend sitter, I'm the highest paid shitter
What?!
I used to have two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about 1
Two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about...
I said I'm back, Lindsay Lohan
Watch me ride this track, no hands
'Cause I've been on the bike
Been around the block like every other night
Yeah, 'till the sun burns out
Zombie-style, worms out of mouth
Dead, and I leave 'em squirming
No protection, Rick Santorum
Haha, damn near wrecked 'em
Every time that I rhyme on the kick drum
You'll be bleeding out your eardrum
Like G-d damn, I couldn't even hear him coming
Yeah, we hit the ground running
G-d damn, now ain't that somethin'
I used to have two girls
Now I got nothing.
I used to have two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about 1
Two girlfriends
Now I got none
'Cause my number 2 girl found out about 1.