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Elephant Lyrics
She said Andy you're better than your past,
winked at me and drained her glass,
cross-legged on the barstool, like nobody sits anymore.
She said Andy you're taking me home,
but I knew she planned to sleep alone.
I'd carry her to bed and sweep up the hair from her floor
If I'd fucked her before she got sick
I'd never hear the end of it.
she don't have the spirit for that now
We drink these drinks and laugh out loud,
bitch about the weekend crowd,
and try to ignore the elephant somehow...somehow.
She said Andy you crack me up,
Seagrams in a coffee cup,
sharecropper eyes and her hair almost all gone.
When she was drunk she made cancer jokes,
made up her own doctor's notes,
surrounded by her family, I saw that she was dying alone.
I'd sing her classic country songs
and she'd get high and sing along.
She don't have the voice to sing with me now.
We'd burn these joints in effegy,
cry about what we used to be,
and try to ignore the elephant somehow...somehow.
I buried her a thousand times,
given up my place in line,
but I don't give a damn about that now
There's one thing that's real clear to me,
no one dies with dignity.
We just try to ignore the elephant somehow.
We just try to ignore the elephant somehow.
We just try to ignore the elephant somehow.
Somehow.
Somehow.
winked at me and drained her glass,
cross-legged on the barstool, like nobody sits anymore.
but I knew she planned to sleep alone.
I'd carry her to bed and sweep up the hair from her floor
I'd never hear the end of it.
she don't have the spirit for that now
bitch about the weekend crowd,
and try to ignore the elephant somehow...somehow.
Seagrams in a coffee cup,
sharecropper eyes and her hair almost all gone.
made up her own doctor's notes,
surrounded by her family, I saw that she was dying alone.
and she'd get high and sing along.
She don't have the voice to sing with me now.
cry about what we used to be,
and try to ignore the elephant somehow...somehow.
given up my place in line,
but I don't give a damn about that now
no one dies with dignity.
We just try to ignore the elephant somehow.
Song Info
Submitted by
jfoxx On Jun 18, 2013
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Oh, God... The love of my life has stage 4 colon cancer, and we so live with "the elephant" every day of our lives. Jason really gets it., we have a few drinks, smokes, enjoy our music, and try to ignore the elephant, but the son of a bitch is always there, anyway...when I feel really alone with this, I listen to Elephant as many times as it takes to feel OK again. Thank you, Jason, so much...
I see this is an old comment. I hope your love is still around. I have been in your shoes, sort of. Same illness, but it was my father. We were so close. Best of wishes.
I see this is an old comment. I hope your love is still around. I have been in your shoes, sort of. Same illness, but it was my father. We were so close. Best of wishes.
One of my favorite ones on this album.
This album is so morose. I've got to go outside.
Anyone who has held someone's hand on their walk through terminal cancer knows this song too well.
I think the storyline here is that we're dealing with longtime friends who, after her diagnosis, realize the big picture in a heaping way.
She knows Andy's past - seems to hint he's had his share of women, and maybe been a guy who moves from bed-notch conquest to the next. Andy acknowledges this in putting her proposal -- that she take him home - into context: Had he taken her home before cancer for sex when she was tipsy and willing, and taken advantage of that mood, he should know her better -- it'd have been a breach of their friendship, and he'd "never have heard the end of it."
They are close friends, he'd be out of line "trophy hunting" her like the others. With cancer, the big picture coming in clearly, she's living more for the moment, drowning her worries in drinks, and knowing her days are numbered, sees him more clearly for being a good guy despite his flaws. Under such circumstances, she indicates a heartfelt willingness to let loose with him. But the reality of cancer, chemo - hair falling out - is nausea, tiredness, and lagging libido... and he knows it, and as the good friend she knows he is, he steps up to do what cancer friends do: clean up hair, tuck 'em in, etc.
As for who they are, "bitching about the weekend crowd", he's a musician as referenced, and a good crowd makes all the difference. Her role is not clear. She sings along, but strikes me as something she's done with him for years, maybe as a fellow musician or as an artist dependent on the bar scenes. He comments that she's dying alone amid family, suggesting that even as they're losing her, her family does not fully understand who she is... perhaps this made her the black sheep of the family? -- the eternal dilemma of so many artists.
Amid it all, they do their best to laugh to stay sane, smoke and drink and sing songs as she deteriorates; they cry looking back on life. They mock cancer back as it mocks her life out of the both of them, doing their best to pretend the elephant in room ain't there.
As we move in, his mind visits / revisits the process of her death 1,000 times (terminal cancer is a long "burial"....), and would gladly have traded his place in the line for death with her place.
In the end, he sums up cancer death that there's nothing pretty about. You struggle through it, and do your best to ignore what it means.
This is a brilliant song. To me, listening to this song is like watching a movie.
I wish I knew the meaning too. I mean, some of it is obvious. She obviously has cancer and is dying but one thing I don't understand is the part about I buried her a thousand times giving up my place in line. I thought maybe he meant he relived the burial in his head over and over but idk about the place in line thing. I've never thought about the point of view of him having cancer as well either. That's a really good point.
I think you're right, when he says "I buried her a thousand times", he is dreading the day that she dies and he is imagining it over and over in his head, just knowing that the day will come sooner or later.
I think you're right, when he says "I buried her a thousand times", he is dreading the day that she dies and he is imagining it over and over in his head, just knowing that the day will come sooner or later.
As far as giving up his place in line, my interpretation is that he has set aside the normal course of his life, whether it be a job or other pursuits, to be with her and take care of her. He is in grief about the impending loss, which trumps whatever else he had committed to...
As far as giving up his place in line, my interpretation is that he has set aside the normal course of his life, whether it be a job or other pursuits, to be with her and take care of her. He is in grief about the impending loss, which trumps whatever else he had committed to in his life.
Gut-wrenching songs. "No one dies with dignity" gets me every time.
@pdenton20 "Buried her a thousand times" from my own experience means that he has gone over the funeral again and again. It's like a worry loop...a vicious cycle, if you will. To me, the "giving up my place in line" has to do with taking her place. Saving her the suffering.
@pdenton20 "Buried her a thousand times" from my own experience means that he has gone over the funeral again and again. It's like a worry loop...a vicious cycle, if you will. To me, the "giving up my place in line" has to do with taking her place. Saving her the suffering.
@pdenton20 I always interpreted it as "givEN up my place in line" instead of "givING." My interpretation is:
@pdenton20 I always interpreted it as "givEN up my place in line" instead of "givING." My interpretation is:
"I've buried her a thousand times," -- he's relived her burial over and over in his head; ",given up my place in line" -- to me this sounds like he's in the "bargaining" phase of the grief process, wondering why it couldn't have been him instead, and he's thinking about how things would have gone if it had been.
"I've buried her a thousand times," -- he's relived her burial over and over in his head; ",given up my place in line" -- to me this sounds like he's in the "bargaining" phase of the grief process, wondering why it couldn't have been him instead, and he's thinking about how things would have gone if it had been.
@pdenton20 - I once lost a girlfriend to cancer. Her family also had no idea what a gem she really was. Having a similar experience, I took this line as a funeral scene. He'd already lived the scene a thousand times in his head, so he gave up his place in line at the funeral. Because he didn't give a damn about that any more.
@pdenton20 - I once lost a girlfriend to cancer. Her family also had no idea what a gem she really was. Having a similar experience, I took this line as a funeral scene. He'd already lived the scene a thousand times in his head, so he gave up his place in line at the funeral. Because he didn't give a damn about that any more.
If I'd fucked her before she got sick I'd never hear the end of it
This is my favorite line of the song. It's the one that getting "Andy" busted. He exposes the whole lot of us, but he is the only one that fucked her after she had died. Unfortunately, none of the rest of us waited around for that extreme moment when she took her last breath. To look deep in her eyes searching for the bewilderment, "How could you do this to me? I trusted you, we laughed and told jokes..." and all that stupid stuff bitches love.
Anyway, time to run. Live by the sword die, by the sword is the motto... you can trust, everyone is treated fair.
The only way out of it is a public apology to everyone who was exposed to Andy's truth - this can be done in song, as an additional song on his new album. This is the only way to be released. Songwriters come and go. We all honor the live by the sword credo.
As for the meaning:
It's clear that she has cancer and is dying, but a couple of things I can't figure out: Are they both dying (I think so) and were they together before they were sick (I don't think so)
Is this a romantic relationship or did he fall in love with her after her diagnosis "If I'd fucked her before she got sick...she doesn't have the spirit for that now" - I am understanding that this guy fell in love with her after she knew she was dying and beyond the point where she could engage in sex.
Does he also have cancer? "Giving up my place in line" - did they meet in like a cancer support group and she is just further along than him.
"cry about what we used to be" - are they crying about what they used to be as a couple or what they each used to be as individuals who are both dying.
I try to play this on my guitar, and I can usually barely get through it. Found it when covered by Greensky Bluegrass at a live show. Sorry ChristyBerkeley, so sad, so sorry - I can't imagine listening to this song going through what you are going through.
I don't know, maybe this is the perfect song for people to even come close to understanding your pain, it just crushes me, I know that.
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I'm guessing the relationship he describes is more of a deep friendship, rather than a relationship. I get the sense that there was a potential blossoming of a relationship that remained a friendship once she had the cancer diagnosis. He seems to describe them as the kind of couple who give each other a hard time in a joking way, but now she's so weak that she doesn't have the energy for that.
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I'm guessing the relationship he describes is more of a deep friendship, rather than a relationship. I get the sense that there was a potential blossoming of a relationship that remained a friendship once she had the cancer diagnosis. He seems to describe them as the kind of couple who give each other a hard time in a joking way, but now she's so weak that she doesn't have the energy for that.
I don't get the sense that he also has cancer. I mentioned in another post that my interpretation of the "giving up my place in line" lyric...
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I don't get the sense that he also has cancer. I mentioned in another post that my interpretation of the "giving up my place in line" lyric is that he has set aside the normal course of his life, whether it be a job or other pursuits, to be with her and take care of her. He is in grief about the impending loss, which trumps whatever else he had committed to in his life.
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I always thought of "cry about what we used to be" as simply reflecting on the past and youth when things were care-free. Telling stories of their past, etc.
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From hearing some interviews, I don't think this was necessarily what Jason himself went through. He talked about a bar that he regularly visited growing up, and how he noticed the "regulars" were more and more often being lost to cancer over time. This was part of the inspiration for the song.
I bawled my eyes out when I first heard this song. I haven't listened to it again yet, but I'll probably cry again. Beautiful, heartfelt lyrics and music.
Christy, that's really sad and I'm really sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. Hell I listen to the song and can't even make it all the way through without crying just thinking about it. I have know idea what I'd do if it were me. I wish you the absolute best and hope you can stay strong. Honestly, if I believed in God (no disrespect to anyone who does) I would pray for you. I might pray for you anyways, and him too.
@pdenton20 , Thank you so very much for that, and your prayers are much appreciated, too. I just heard Jason sing "Elephant" live twice thus past week, once in Charlottesville and then two days later in Pennsylvania, (I'm a big fan, can you tell?), cried my way through them both, but in a cathartic way. When someone describes your feelings perfectly, that complete understanding is a comfort, somehow... Thanks again for your sweet words.
@pdenton20 , Thank you so very much for that, and your prayers are much appreciated, too. I just heard Jason sing "Elephant" live twice thus past week, once in Charlottesville and then two days later in Pennsylvania, (I'm a big fan, can you tell?), cried my way through them both, but in a cathartic way. When someone describes your feelings perfectly, that complete understanding is a comfort, somehow... Thanks again for your sweet words.
So it occured to me the other day, what ifnitnis about two fellow musicians who played the same bar from time to time. Friends connected by music to start and eventually through her cancer, more. The line "Ive buried her a thousand times, giving up my place in line. But I dont give a damn about that now," makes me think, he had put his music career pursuit on the back burner (giving up his place in line) to help care for her and then reliving it over and over again. Distracting him from it. Idk if what I'm saying makes sense, but that was just a possibility that popped into my head recently.