This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I'm floating in a black balloon
OD on Easter afternoon
My mama told me
"Baby stay clean, there's no in between"
All you ladies and you gentlemen
Between's all you've ever seen or been
Fit poorly and and arrange the sight
Doll it up in virgin white
You disappoint me
You people raking in on the world
The devil's script sells
You the heart of a blackbird
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
Sun rising on a chopping glare
Rain dropping acid blotter in the air
Distorted reality's now a necessity
To be free
So disappointing
First I put it all down to luck
God knows why my
Country don't give a fuck (fuck)
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
OD on Easter afternoon
My mama told me
"Baby stay clean, there's no in between"
All you ladies and you gentlemen
Between's all you've ever seen or been
Fit poorly and and arrange the sight
Doll it up in virgin white
You disappoint me
You people raking in on the world
The devil's script sells
You the heart of a blackbird
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
Sun rising on a chopping glare
Rain dropping acid blotter in the air
Distorted reality's now a necessity
To be free
So disappointing
First I put it all down to luck
God knows why my
Country don't give a fuck (fuck)
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
Shine on me, baby
'Cause it's raining in my heart
Lyrics submitted by ghost06, edited by Mellow_Harsher, ian1774721, anonymous__, Bobbi53
A Distorted Reality Is Now a Necessity to Be Free Lyrics as written by Steven Paul Smith
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
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The Night We Met
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I think this song addresses a couple of things, the first being the inherent hypocrisy of human beings in general, and then the more flagrant hypocrisy of those in positions of authority. Really, the first few verses may be seen as an autobiography of sorts; Elliott's struggle with substance abuse -- and his friends' various interventions -- probably inspired him to write something to the effect of, "Look, we're all a little screwed up, we all do things that are bad for us, so don't point the finger at me until you've cleaned up your act." There's a lot of truth in saying we all "doll up" our public faces in "virgin white," but, ultimately, I think Smith was using some classic junkie reasoning. Drugs had taken over his life at this point, people tried to help him, so he lashed out. More interesting is Smith's take on the people "rakin' in on the world." In this day and age, I think this probably means the bureaucratic hypocrites that lead us into unnecessary wars. Take the line "But God knows why my/country don't give a fuck" for example; I can only take this as a fairly direct allusion to what was going on in the U.S. at the time of Smith's death, the so-called aftermath of a supposedly "just" war in Iraq. If my assumption is true, it probably means that this is the most overtly political stance Smith ever took in his music. All in all, the "distorted reality" of this song refers to the justifications we make for the way we act on a personal and global scale.