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Until I Am Whole Lyrics

Sunset on Snohomish.
Burn the tree line down.
Hold my hopes underwater,
Stand there and watch them drown.
Fishing out their bodies,
From the bathroom sink.
Leave them in a bucket,
Til they start to stink.

I think I'll stay here,
Til I feel whole again.
I don't know when.

Trout swim past the fishing lines.
Sky gets dark and close.
Cars start up and make,
Their nightly exodus.
On a picnic bench alone,
Watch the sky go dark.
Dig my nails into my hands,
Hope it leaves a mark.

I think I'll stay here,
Til I feel whole again.
I don't know when.
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Cover art for Until I Am Whole lyrics by Mountain Goats, The

“It’s about a person you know who is struggling with the sort of depression that prevents you from taking care of yourself. And I thought well that’s something I have direct experience of.” - JD

Song Meaning

I wonder why he set it in Western Washington state? Snohomish is a actually very close to where I live. I'm thinking the main character may be Native American? The Snohomish tribe is also nearby here, and there are references to fishing that sound similar to the Native style. Anyway, great song.

Cover art for Until I Am Whole lyrics by Mountain Goats, The

In an interview with Marc Maron, JD said he has been telling audiences that it's about "the yoga of self-mutilation".

Cover art for Until I Am Whole lyrics by Mountain Goats, The

It's about depression. As someone who has struggled with it myself, I'd say this song is a pretty darn accurate description of what it's like.

 
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