You Can't Have A Shag With A Snowman

Well you can’t have a sh*g with a snowman
‘Cause his knob is made of snow
And you’ll get no poke
From a frozen bloke
And he’ll say “no” to an eskimo
You can’t have a gobble or a blow, man
Or a nice f-*-c-k
He might be rigid
But he’s much too frigid
And his knob could melt away
Well you can’t have a sh*g with a snowman
With an icicle for a tool
He’s frozen through, he’s got snowballs too
And so he just can’t lose his cool
Well he might be a sweet whisper low man
But he’ll only make you blush
‘Cause if he tries more
Then his knob will thaw
And he’ll have a premature slush
No no no!
If you sit on his nose and bounce you’ll get a lift
Snow snow snow
You’ll get your assets frozen
Just supposin’ you get my drift
Oh the next time you make a snowman
Make a nice snowlady too
With freezing tits for squeezing bits
For the snowman to love true
And Santa Claus, the ho-ho-ho man
Will take them on his sleigh
And they can f*ck
Where the penguins cluck
At the North Pole far away*
* yes, Johnny Smart-Ass, we know.., but actually the penguins were on an Internationally sponsored Antarctic fact finding trip up North, so there.