Happiness Hotel

Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace; there's no carpet on the floor
Don't try to order dinner; there's no kitchen anymore
But if the road's been kind of bumpy, and you need to rest a spell
Then welcome home to Happiness Hotel
If you've got luggage, keep it handy; 'cause you're running out of luck
Since the bellhops ain't too organized, and the elevator's stuck
Still, if you don't mind friendly animals, and can learn to stand the smell
Come stretch your legs at Happiness Hotel
Welcome home; oh, welcome home
No matter where you wander, you will never do as well
Okay the joint looks rather shabby; phone book's misspelled our address
And the whole she-bow's blacklisted by American Express
Still, the management is cheerful; so why not come out your shell
And hang your hat with Happiness Hotel
Oh, we've got bugs (We've got bugs) and we've got lice (We've got lice)
Sure we've got our faults - who doesn't? - but you'll never beat the price
We host every type of critter, along with every breed of pest
But they're treated here as equals, just like deeply honored guests
We ain't beggars, choosers neither, and that's probly just as well
So welcome home to Happiness Hotel
Come hang your hat with Happiness Hotel