Wolf Creek Pass

Me and Earl was haulin' chickens
On a flatbed out of Wiggins
And we'd spent all night on the uphill side of 37 miles of Hell
called Wolf Creek Pass
Which is up on the Great Divide
We was sittin' there suckin' toothpicks
and drinkin' Nehis and onion soup mix
And I says Earl let's mail a card to Mother
And then send them chickens on down t'other side.
Yeah, let's give 'em a ride.
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down to the other side
Well Earl put down his bottle
Mashed his foot down on the throttle
And then a couple of boobs with a thousand cubes in a 1948 Peterbilt screamed to life
And we woke up the chickens.
We rode up off of that shoulder sprayin' pine cones rocks and boulders
And put 400 head of them Rhode Island Reds and a couple of burnt out roosters on the line
Look out below, 'cause here we go.
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down to the other side
Well we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin'
And then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff
Says my, ain't this perty up here?
I says Earl this hill can spill us
You better slow down, you gonna kill us
Just make one mistake and its the pearly gates for them 85 crates of USDA approved cluckers
You wanna hit second?
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down to the other side
Well Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stabbed her into fifth gear
and then the Chromium plated, fully illuminated, genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand
I says You want to screw that thing back on Earl?
He was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off of his cigar and dropped on down
sort of rolled around and it lit the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock
Yeah, sort of set him right on fire.
I looked on out of the window and I started countin' phone poles goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power
Well I put two and two together and added twelve and carried five and come up with 22,000 telephone poles an hour
I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide, his lip was curled and his leg was fried
And his hands was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard.
I says Earl I'm not the type to complain but the time has come for me to explain
That if you don't apply some brake real soon they're gonna have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon
Well Earl rared back, cocked his leg and stepped down as hard as he could on the brake
and the pedal went clear to the floor and it stayed right there on the floor
He says it was sort of like stepping on a plum.
Well from there on down it was just wasn't real perty
It was hairpin county and switchback city
One of them kind of looked like a can full of worms
Another one looked like malaria germs
Right in the middle of the whole damn show
Was a real nice tunnel now wouldn't you know
Sign says clearance was a twelve foot line
But the chickens was stacked to 13-9.
Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred and ten
Like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen
We took that top row of chickens off quicker than scum from a Louisiana swamp
We went down and around and around and down
And we run out of ground at the edge of town
Bashed into the side of the feed store -
Downtown Pagosa Springs.
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down to the other side
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down to the other side