This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Born inside the gates of the family
Hardened by a Roman machinery
Cast among the building sites
The coiling wires, the shots collected
Called out in the wake of a lottery
Held inside the family gathering
Mirrored beams and doglike stretch
The wandering association
Murmurs in the dark confessional
And it rides along the road, ephemeral
As in animal life
Rusting in the shade of the batteries
Hanging from a rope in the gallery
Pacing down the balance beam of half-remembered holidays
No rush of light, no sign of belonging
No joy in building, love in the finishing
Chasing down an anodyne and half-reflected radiance
To hide below the ancient barricade
In chambers like the rooms a swallow made
For an animal life
Charging down the maw of the ocean
I wanna come close, I wanna come closer
I held your name inside my mouth through all the days of wandering
But called out from the mouth of oblivion
Cast away like dogs from the shelter
I shed the dulling armor plates
That once collected radiance
And surging at the blood's perimeter
The half-remembered wild interior
Of an animal life
Hardened by a Roman machinery
Cast among the building sites
The coiling wires, the shots collected
Called out in the wake of a lottery
Held inside the family gathering
Mirrored beams and doglike stretch
The wandering association
Murmurs in the dark confessional
And it rides along the road, ephemeral
As in animal life
Rusting in the shade of the batteries
Hanging from a rope in the gallery
Pacing down the balance beam of half-remembered holidays
No rush of light, no sign of belonging
No joy in building, love in the finishing
Chasing down an anodyne and half-reflected radiance
To hide below the ancient barricade
In chambers like the rooms a swallow made
For an animal life
Charging down the maw of the ocean
I wanna come close, I wanna come closer
I held your name inside my mouth through all the days of wandering
But called out from the mouth of oblivion
Cast away like dogs from the shelter
I shed the dulling armor plates
That once collected radiance
And surging at the blood's perimeter
The half-remembered wild interior
Of an animal life
Lyrics submitted by inverarity
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@[Diderik:33655] "Your a holiday!" Was a popular term used in the 50s/60s to compliment someone on their all around. For example, not only are they beautiful, but they are fun and kind too ... just an all around "holiday".
I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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This song seems to have a personal element, and I can't guess at what exactly it speaks to, but to me, there is a general theme about the process of recovering the true self (nature/animal self) and shedding the layers put upon one by culture/civilization, family, etc. The person ("your name") addressed in the song may in fact be the singer's true self.