Post Nuclear Talking Blues

I don't have the magnetism of a national hero
I'm not desperate enough to carry 'round a bomb in a bag
I hate to clean up behind my dog, he's a pretty big guy who eats like a hog
And I never quite get that haircut they have in the window
I better give myself a talking to
I better work out what I'm going to do
I'll maybe get myself a wife, better get myself a life
Instead of these post nuclear talking blues
I go to the store, the express line gets derailed
I know that none of my batteries were included
I fall down every time I drink, I wash and all my clothes turn pink
And I always come home with someone else's pants
I better give myself a talking to
I better work out what I'm going to do
I'll maybe get myself a wife, better get myself a life
Instead of these post nuclear talking blues
The rain won't worry a drowning man until his feet are on dry land
He won't even care if his good shoes are full of sand
Wherever my flight touches down, my bags are in a different town
And the customs men love to be intimate with me
I better give myself a talking to
I better work out what I'm going to do
I'll maybe get myself a wife, better get myself a life
Instead of these post nuclear talking blues