I'm Gettin' Stoned

I read it in the paper, marked a date on the wall
To remind myself to celebrate the day I lose it all
They made plans to be together, I made plans to be alone
She got a rock and I'm Gettin' Stoned
Damn right I've got objections but it's awful too late now
The cans are on the limo and the rice is on the ground
They're headed for the islands but hell I'm already gone
She got a rock and I'm Gettin' Stoned
Here's to happy ever after and here's to balls and chains
Here's to all us haters of old lovers new last names
And here's to holin' up and gettin' right where I belong
She got a rock and I'm Gettin' Stoned
Yeah I knew that it was over when I heard those wedding bells
That preacher was my jailer, now this bottle is my bail
So much for all that prayin' her I do would be I don't
She got a rock, I'm Gettin' Stoned
Here's to happy ever after and here's to balls and chains
Here's to all us haters of old lovers new last names
And here's to holin' up and gettin' right where I belong
She got a rock, I'm Gettin' Stoned
So to hell with her and him
And that white horse they rode out on
She got a rock, I'm Gettin' Stoned
Yeah she got a rock, I'm Gettin' Stoned