Sweet Cold Colation (feat. Miss Sadie Bell)

Prof. Elemental: Darling! Sweetheart, I'm home!
The Voyage was a success!
9 years later, here I am!
Mmm...
Wife: Do you like my dress of cakes?
Prof. Elemental: Oh, I'm ever so peckish...
Wife: You like it? You like it a lot?!
Prof. Elemental: I don't suppose I could, eh, just try...
Wife: No! Frankly no!
You're never touching me again!
Prof. Elemental: Before I take elevenses,
Professor stays to play the wrist
A cakey dress, a sexy miss
I best not make a mess of this
If you cover my love with your truffles and dumplings
I'll cover you up with my custard and something
I'll spank you on the Battenberg
(Ooh!)
Try your icing, quite superb!
So let's fly my pretty songbird
Because I can't wait a moment longer!
Wife: Since you've been away, dear
I've been so lonely
All I have is baking
I'm going simple slowly
I've whipped my eggs till custard
Smeared it over my gentle frame
Floured, pale and lusty
(Ooh...)
Baked myself a cake of very dainty pastries
(Yes!)
Because you left me waiting, all you'll have are savers
(Oh...)
I'll give it away to ladies who lunch
And Lady Brumfink can have me for brunch
Even servants can take their time
I'll leave a trail of Chantilly cream behind
I've been so lonely
All I have is baking
I'm going simple slowly...
Since you've been away, dear
I've been so lonely
All I have is baking
I'm going simple slowly...
Prof. Elemental: But look my dear, you seem in pain
Perhaps my tools can ease the strain!
I'll use my drill, your face I'll reach
Eat your cake and take your teeth!
Wife: (screams) Oh no!
Prof. Elemental: (laughs maniacally) This won't hurt a bit!