Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me

Oh the sand keep falling through the hourglass
There's no way you're gonna slow it down
You say we gotta treasure each moment
Who knows how long we're gonna be around?
Yeah you keep on tellin' me life is short
And it's hard to disagree with what you say
But if time is so precious why're you wastin' mine?
'Cause I'm always reading...always deleting
every useless piece of garbage that you send my way
Every stupid hoax, all those corny jokes
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I don't need tons of cringe-inducing puns
Stop forwarding that crap to me
No it isn't okay if you brighten my day
With some cut-and-pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
And I didn't request a personality test
Stop forwarding that crap to me
You're sending virus-laden bandwith-hogging attatchments to every single person you know
You're passin' round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
That everybody else already saw three years ago
And wacky badly photoshopped billboards were never that amusing to me
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes someone'll point you towards Snopes
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly
No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup For The Soul
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Send more top ten lists and I'll slash my wrists
Please stop forwarding that crap to me
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
Won't you kindly refrain 'cause it's hurting my brain
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?
And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mister Rogers never fought the Vietcong
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
And I highly doubt some dead girl's gonna kill me if I don't pass your letter along
Well I know you're wishin' I'll sign your petition
But stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don't want to read your series of conspiracy theories
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
And your two million loser friends all have my address now
'Cause you never figured out the way to Bcc
Now I've gotta insist...
Take me off of your list
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that craaaaaaap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Just stop it now
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Ooooh no
Stop forwarding that craaaaaaap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
I can't take it
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Aw, please
Stop forwarding that craaaaaap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
You gotta stop
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Right now
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Stop forwarding that craaaaaap to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
I'm not kidding
Stop forwarding that crap to me
At the risk of being slightly repetitious
Gonna ask you now to stop
Stop sendin' me that crap
I don't want it
Don't send it to me
Don't send it to me
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Just stop
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Ooooooh
Stop forwarding that craaaaaaap to me
To me
Aaaaaaaahhh