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Beauty Lyrics
Beauty is a harlot
She will dance with any bastard
She’s undiscerning in her choice of partner
I could have her of course, if I wished
But I object to her promiscuousness
Beauty just doesn’t suit me, for
Beauty is a harlot
An easy lane for lazy artists
I won’t be fooled by her vulgar charm
It is the easiest trick in the book
Music’s the worm and beauty’s the hook
And I’m sure you would swallow her whole
But I’m not here to satisfy souls, for
Beauty is a siren
Trying to draw me from my chosen mission
I won’t be tempted by her seductive singing
On principle I refuse, to be party to her abuse
It is not my job to squat in the gutter
Sharing the teet with you beauty drowned suckers
You paid to see satire and rage
I swear I won’t let beauty set foot on this stage, for
Beauty is a harlot
A spotlight hogging superficial starlet
She will toy with your defenceless heart and leave you
Tear streaked when the lights come on
You look around to find her gone
And despite your size, you’ve not a clue
That as you fell for her, she stole from you, for
Beauty is harlot
She will lie with any two bit artist
And for all those other bloody bastards
She seems to come so easily
But she comes so hard to me
She will dance with any bastard
She’s undiscerning in her choice of partner
I could have her of course, if I wished
But I object to her promiscuousness
Beauty just doesn’t suit me, for
An easy lane for lazy artists
I won’t be fooled by her vulgar charm
It is the easiest trick in the book
Music’s the worm and beauty’s the hook
And I’m sure you would swallow her whole
But I’m not here to satisfy souls, for
Trying to draw me from my chosen mission
I won’t be tempted by her seductive singing
On principle I refuse, to be party to her abuse
It is not my job to squat in the gutter
Sharing the teet with you beauty drowned suckers
You paid to see satire and rage
I swear I won’t let beauty set foot on this stage, for
A spotlight hogging superficial starlet
She will toy with your defenceless heart and leave you
Tear streaked when the lights come on
You look around to find her gone
And despite your size, you’ve not a clue
That as you fell for her, she stole from you, for
She will lie with any two bit artist
And for all those other bloody bastards
She seems to come so easily
But she comes so hard to me
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I think the meaning is found in the commentary on contemporary songs. It's about how they are lazy, lack depth and just sing about beauty and other cliché, run of the mill sort of concepts. But at the same time he is "tempted" by it. Tim first tried to become a successful singer not comedian, and he believes if he were to sing about such superficial matters he could become successful, but he doesn't want to stoop to that. However, now being a comedian, he cannot sing about beauty even if he wanted to.
I went to see this show at the start of last year in Brisbane, Australia and before he sang it he says "Only musical comedians would relate to this song", indicating that it is a common belief among such artists. When an audience comes to one of his gigs they don't want beauty, they want "satire and rage" and he almosts longs to sing about beauty. And despite being easy for cheap, shallow artists, it's hard for him to do it.
I think beauty is referring to pop songs and mainstream, mass consumption artists. She's "promiscuous" in that any "lazy artist" can become famous in our "beauty drowned sucker" society. This plays on how all pop songs seem to sound the same, use the same four cords, are written by the same people, etc. Then just dressed up with a pretty person and but on big shows. A stark contrast to a loan man on stage with a piano.
Tim could easily write a pop song, find fame and fortune, but he refuses. "She will toy with your defenseless heart and leave you" refers to cycle of celebs being chewed and spit out and replaced.
"But she comes so hard to me" refers to his constant internal battle to resist selling out. It's tempting and he struggles to stay on his "chosen mission" of "satire and rage"