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Always only for me Lyrics

I knew someone this time, she was dying as I bit my tongue.
I knew little from my youth, but I knew too soon to save her.
Well it's like they all say.
So take my breathe, I'll die today, and I can't repent, and I can't regret.
(And there's something I felt and it won't escape me. And there's something I knew, and it won't escape me).
Well I'm running through my dreams, wishing you could see how fast it takes to fall in open valleys. My son you're all choked up.
Just open your heart and make believe the sun could make and cast the biggest shadows over me.
Over the places I hold in my thoughts, in my thoughts where you'll be.
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Cover art for Always only for me lyrics by Moving Mountains

While I don't know what Moving Mountains was going for in this song, it makes perfect sense to me. I know everyone relates songs to their relationships, but I think that it is definitely acceptable because love is often one of the things that affects our lives and our music the most. My ex boyfriend used to listen to this band because I feel like his outlook on life was very close to the meanings put forth in all their music. He barely ever expressed his feelings but he was the deepest person i know. I think this song is about not wanting to feel because you do in fact feel so deeply, about being unable to escape your own cynicism. I think he felt like he was poisonous. He had all these feelings, but he couldn't express them and wouldn't allow himself to even acknowledge them half the time ("My son you're all choked up"). He knew that this killed me because I just wanted him to return the affection ("she was dying as I bit my tongue"). Guys have a tendency to fall for someone fast, so to prevent getting hurt they choose not to feel ("wishing you could see how fast it takes to fall in open valleys"). I think he would have died for me like the song says. He would be capable of doing something this profound, but yet wouldn't allow himself to do something as simple as repenting or regretting because that would mean giving in to your emotions. Overall, he knew he couldn't escape the feelings he felt at the end of the day. That's why he broke up with me, because I made him feel all those things he was trying to avoid. The part where it says "I knew too soon to save her" could mean that he wasn't ready or wasn't in a stage of his life where he was willing or able to be what I needed or it could be the opposite of too late to save her, because he was what I needed saving from.

My Interpretation
Cover art for Always only for me lyrics by Moving Mountains

Really don't understand this song!