So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I do my best to sleep through the caterwaul
The classicist, the posturing avant-garde
I bought a grey macaw, named him Jules Verne
He'll probably outlive me, he's a bright bird
Keeps me company, I teach him new words
I saw a hologram at the theme park
She looked as real as me through the white fog
Then she melted down to her ankles
Turned into a million-watt candle
If I knew where she went, I would follow
Walking through the land of tomorrow
Martian trinkets, plastic Apollos
In the sunshine, try to act normal
My veins are full of flat cherry cola
Slept on the bench by the rollercoaster
Dreamt I was riding on a motorbike
Lion of Judah, painted on the side
I'm doing fine, I'm back in the Palisades
Life's a wash, a pastoral school play
China shops and cold ivory towers
I and I, make toasts to the Caesars
Forcing down the dregs of Decembers
Madeline, she spins in a slow bang
All through the house, the strong smell of burnt sage
Let's make it clean and run out the spirits
I know a diving bell when I hear it
We're going down now, under the surface
Light to dark can shift in an instant
Feeling close but keeping my distance
On all fours, she's just so insistent
Fills my mind with jump ropes and slit wrists
Bust through the firewall into heaven
And then I'm standing in that blinding light
Crooked crosses falling from the sky
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen and seen by I and I and I
The classicist, the posturing avant-garde
I bought a grey macaw, named him Jules Verne
He'll probably outlive me, he's a bright bird
Keeps me company, I teach him new words
I saw a hologram at the theme park
She looked as real as me through the white fog
Then she melted down to her ankles
Turned into a million-watt candle
If I knew where she went, I would follow
Walking through the land of tomorrow
Martian trinkets, plastic Apollos
In the sunshine, try to act normal
My veins are full of flat cherry cola
Slept on the bench by the rollercoaster
Dreamt I was riding on a motorbike
Lion of Judah, painted on the side
I'm doing fine, I'm back in the Palisades
Life's a wash, a pastoral school play
China shops and cold ivory towers
I and I, make toasts to the Caesars
Forcing down the dregs of Decembers
Madeline, she spins in a slow bang
All through the house, the strong smell of burnt sage
Let's make it clean and run out the spirits
I know a diving bell when I hear it
We're going down now, under the surface
Light to dark can shift in an instant
Feeling close but keeping my distance
On all fours, she's just so insistent
Fills my mind with jump ropes and slit wrists
Bust through the firewall into heaven
And then I'm standing in that blinding light
Crooked crosses falling from the sky
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen and seen by I and I
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen, yeah, seen, yeah
Seen and seen by I and I and I
Lyrics submitted by Browns0286
Firewall [Companion Version] Lyrics as written by Conor M Oberst
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
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I'm not convinced this song has an overarching theme of loneliness, although many of Oberst's lyrics certainly deal with the subject, in this song and others. I especially have a different take on the sex scene. I don't think the "light to dark" imagery necessarily translates to pure connection ruined by sex, but rather acceptance of the fleeting nature of all things (a theme I see throughout the album). "Feeling close but keeping my distance" might refer to the protagonist's former immature tendency to dive headfirst into anything that felt right and present hesitancy to do so, taking a longer view of things. I personally find the next two lines to express a more positive eroticism, with "jump ropes and slit wrists" not reminding so much of "horrible things" as of the extremes of human experience (e.g. childhood exuberance and maddening despair) that can arise amid the liberating throes of sexual pleasure. This seems reinforced by the clear allusion to orgasm in "bust through the firewall into heaven." The "blinding light" of the next line seems to me to be the overwhelm of pure sensory human experience (witnessed by "I and I," the collective common man, including the protagonist), although I'm not sure of the significance of "crooked crosses." I'm curious about that if anyone has any insight.