Wash Away My Sins

For the first time, you can see a side of me that you've never seen
It hides behind this mask I fake, but I hope that you can't see the real me
I've tried to dream my life away, in hopes of forgetting yesterday
But it's when no one is awake, that my mind plays tricks on me
I'm drowning myself in excuses for my actions
I'm trying to make sense of all of my bad habits
I'm carefully miscalculating my next mistake, predicted disregard of planning any future for me
Can someone please remind me of a different way to live?
Before tonight fades away, I'll have dug my own grave
I'm becoming more deaf to heartbroken reports of youth
Disillusioned too, we can pretend like we never knew
Of better days, a life without hate, where everything is new
Where the struggle of getting through the day is something I never knew
I can't even recall a time, or remember when in my life
I wasn't worried about doing what's wrong or doing what's right
My mind still screams at me, while my body bleeds
As I try to wash away my sins from this life I lead
Right before the night slowly slips away
And I get my chance to escape
I'm constantly reminded of all my failures, my defeats
And the only nightmare I have is living
Dreaming my life away, forgetting yesterday
I'm becoming more deaf to heartbroken reports of youth
Disillusioned too, we can pretend like we never knew
Of better days, a life without hate where everything is new
Where the struggle of getting through the day was something I never knew