Action Figure

Worried 'bout the theft of my girl
Suspects: every guy in the world
The thief was laying under my nose
Striking his remarkable pose
Versatile: he converts to a chopper
Topping me: a young, plain grasshopper
Villainous: and that's in his favor
Taste for conquering: a tasty flavor
He's bigger plus he's a whole lot badder
His head's a point and his blades are fatter
When in doubt, better lies in bigger
My girl's in love with my action figure
Worsened when she saw the TV
She started to compare him to me
Merely mortal: I pack no clout
Lesser life form: I'm thrown out
Versatile: he converts to a chopper
Topping me: a young, plain grasshopper
Villanous: and that's in his favor
Taste for conquering: a tasty flavor
He's bigger plus he's a whole lot badder
His head's a point and his blades are fatter
When in doubt, better lies in bigger
My girl's in love with my action figure
If I find another girl and marry her someday
Then we have a son, I vow he'll never see the day
Where I'll buy him a figure from his favorite show
He'll be raised on Barbie: action is no-go
Versatile: converts to a chopper
Topping me: a young, plain grasshopper
Villanous: and that's in his favor
Taste for conquering: a tasty flavor
He's bigger plus he's a whole lot badder
His head's a point and his blades are fatter
When in doubt, better lies in bigger
My girl's in love with my action figure