American Slob

If you're walking down the street
And a tough-looking character you meet
Who would like your legal tender
Or a sampling of your gender
Don't scream or run away
Or else he just might say
You're anti-social
These are the rules of etiquette
From Texas to Connecticut
Jut follow them and you'll go far
You'll be socially appealing
As long as you're not revealing
The kind of person that you know you are
You're just an unkempt, unpolished, uncoordinated
Awkward, vulgar, rude, and uncultivated
Ill-bred, tactless, coarse, and discourteous
Boring, insensitive jerk
They'll say you're garish, barbaric
Crass and outlandish
Being uncouth is your job
You're just an inveterate
Communist degenerate
First class American slob
If in high society you're a beginner
And you're going to a formal dinner
Here's a rule you can't forget
When they serve the Crêpe Suzette
It isn't very cool
To eat with your entrenching tool
These are the rules of etiquette
From Texas to Connecticut
Good taste is here to stay
So be careful what you wear
And the way you comb your hair
Or else everyone is going to say
That you're just an unkempt, unpolished, uncoordinated
Awkward, vulgar, rude, and uncultivated
Ill-bred, tactless, coarse, and discourteous
Boring, insensitive jerk
They'll say you're garish, barbaric
Crass and outlandish
Being uncouth is your job
You're just an inveterate
Communist degenerate
First class American slob
[Burp]
Excuse me
They'll say you're garish, barbaric
Crass and outlandish
Being uncouth is your job
You're just an inveterate
Communist degenerate
First class American slob