I'm Awesome

seriously i'm awesome
no you're not dude don't lie
i'm awesome
i'm driving round in my mom's ride
i'm awesome
a quarter of my life gone by
and i met all my friends online
seriously i'm awesome
i will run away from a brawl
i'm awesome
there's no voicemail nobody called
i'm awesome
i can't afford to buy eight balls and
i talk to myself on my facebook wall
you know my pants sag low
even though that went outta style like ten years ago
spose
i got the swagger of a cripple
little biceps getting fatter in the middle
and lyrically i'm not the best
physically the opposite of randy moss
and yet
so preposterous
feel the awesomeness
the most obnoxious guest up at the sausagefest
oh yes
the girls are repulsed
so i hide in my hood like i'm joining a cult
i'm as nervous as my cattle dirty curtis
my writtins are bitten and all my verses are purchased
me ill never date an actress
got too many back zits
plus my whole aroma is bad list
every show i do is poorly promoted
and if you like this
its because my little sister wrote it
i'm awesome
no youre not dude dont lie
i'm awesome
i'm driving round in my mom's ride
i'm awesome
a quarter of my life gone by
and i met all my friends online
seriously i'm awesome
i will run away from a brawl
i'm awesome
there's no voicemail nobody called
i'm awesome
i cant afford to buy eight balls and
i talk to myself on my facebook wall
i'm awesome
i'm from maine and i don't hunt
and i can't ski
smoke cigars but i can't roll blunts
might be with my wifey
my necks not icy
eatin' at mcdonalds because subway is pricey
uh and my unibrow is plucked
just ask my mom if i could borrow ten bucks
she's like "for what?
blunt wraps and some heinekens?
you skinny kid, go get a gym membership and vitamins"
i'm like mom please don't blame it on me
i got my bad habits from
you, dad, and aunt steve
my attitudes sour but my futon's sweet
and the hair on my head it is jumanji
suit untailored, ringtone taylor swift
can't tweet up on my twitter
cuz i haven't done zip
blank account red
body ungroomed
the good thing about me is i'm off the stage soon
i'm awesome
no youre not dude dont lie
i'm awesome
i'm driving round in my mom's ride
i'm awesome
a quarter of my life gone by
and i met all my friends online
seriously i'm awesome
i will run away from a brawl
i'm awesome
there's no voicemail nobody called
i'm awesome
i cant afford to buy eight balls and
i talk to myself on my facebook wall
i'm awesome
futher more i'm cornier than ethynol
cheesier than provolone
i spent years eight to ten living in a motor home
with a ego the size of tim duncan
even though i got zip for brains like a blumpkin
i'm twenty four serving lobster rolls
bacause i spent a decade filling
optimuos and i'm not even the bomb in maine
on my game and only about as pretty as john mccain
now put your hands up
if you have nightmares
if you wouldn't man up
if there was a fight here
if you git dandruff
if you drink heavy soda
uHHH
im outta breath
but i'm awesome
no youre not dude dont lie
i'm awesome
i'm driving round in my mom's ride
i'm awesome
a quarter of my life gone by
and i met all my friends online
seriously i'm awesome
i will run away from a brawl
i'm awesome
there's no voicemail nobody called
i'm awesome
i cant afford to buy eight balls and
i talk to myself on my facebook wall
i'm awesome