Sex

I thought it would be great
I thought it'd blow my mind
I was told it would pale all other experiences into insignificance
I thought I would be in pursuit until I was old and gray
I was exaggerated to
I was fed a myth from brainless male slobs
Reinforced by magazines, films, rock and roll lyrics
Conversations with big-mouths
Sex
What a let down
What a farce
How do people manage to keep a straight face?
What is Frankie talking about?
The smell is appalling
I tried it more than once
I'm in no hurry to try it more than twice
I'd rather have a cup of tea
Sex
Don't ask for her phone number
Don't smile at the girl on the bus
Don't lower your standards after a couple
Heavy petting after heavy drinking
There is no excuse for girl abuse
Remember how unsatisfactory it has ended many times before
And resist making that first step
Which may lead to a hypercritical embrace
Sex
Lies come easy on a promise
You can't see or touch
So logically it cannot exist
Sex without love is bad sex
Avoid what's bad in life
And life will not be bad for you
I, Ludicrous says don't
I, Ludicrous says know yourself
Sex