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Watch Me Fall Apart Lyrics

You said once you were sad
but I don't believe you
you're too simple in the head
for pain to please you
there are days when you feel good
and days when you feel nothing at all

But there is no inbetween
and it's that, that kills you
cause you don't know what to do
which page to thumb through
on my failures I've leaned
but with God as my witness I fall

Oh one by one they watch me fall apart
oh one by one they watch me fall apart

Forgive me I'm empty
and I want you to need me
your assurance is a game
and I'm always bluffing
like suburban nature
I've separated myself

But I'll kindly grit my teeth
swallow and bury it
unsettled and anxious
and now I'm careless
and I'm swearing in my sleep
cursing at a day, as it goes by

Oh one by one they watch me fall apart
oh one by one they watch me fall apart
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Submitted by
bluenay On Jan 26, 2010
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Cover art for Watch Me Fall Apart lyrics by Sarah Jaffe

"Forgive me I'm empty and I want you to need me your assurance is a game and I'm always bluffing."

I love those lines. It's like when you're depressed, and wondering what the point of doing anything is. And when someone tries to cheer you up or tell you it will get better, it sounds like a boldfaced lie. You end up bluffing your way through regular life, acting like it's all okay so the people who you have to spend time with during the day won't get concerned.

"But I'll kindly grip my teeth swallow and bury it unsettled and anxious and now I'm careless and I'm swearing in my sleep cursing as the day, as it goes by."

You just have to suck it up and put on an inner blindfold so you don't get caught up in your own issues. It's like a whirlwind of anxiety and being hopeless that you have to hold back the whole day just to get through it. And at night, everything catches up with you, like a wave of holy-shit-my-life-is-going-nowhere, but you get up despite it all and shuffle through the next day cursing everything out in your head.

...well that sounds depressing. Sorry about that :) Maybe I'll show this to my therapist.

The only thing that is depressing is people, knowing they are toxic, continue searching for love, rather than purpose. Some of us are meant to do, not take. If you can't give in a relationship, you're a taker. If you don't feel good about that, then stop being in relationships and start finding where you can give. Like, rescuing animals without homes, feeding homeless. You don't deserve power, so nothing like Social Working, but you can help, so join a cause as a front line troop; so to say. That is this random guy's advice. The only thing we have...

I'd just like to thank you for your advice, random guy. The whole "you don't deserve power" thing was a bit harsh but I approve of your general message. I can't believe it's been FOUR years and I still feel every word of this post just as vividly and truthfully.

It's pathetic, honestly.

I will be taking your reply to heart very soon. I really do believe that the only way for someone who is depressed (such as I am) to feel better or be a better human being is to give back through some form of volunteer...