Heartbeats

My heartbeat's growing slowly stronger,
this fear of facing life consumes my every thought,
it turns my mind against me.
I don't know how I can feel like everything is hopeless.
I feel as though the reason that we started this is lost.
I'm on my knees. I'm holding out my hands.
I've spent too many hours wishing for the rain to come and flood these streets.
So that I could feel something and I could let the water was away those thoughts of having nothing left.
But this time the windows aren't painted black and I don't need any of this.
I don't need to feel alone and I don't want to wear this mask.
It's more than having nothing, loving no one, feeling hopeless.
I held what I thought was everything in the palm of my hand but this storm washed away the fear, the guilt, the lies, the love, the pain.
So now i'm left with nothing.
But I don't want to start again.
Now that I feel the cold wind on my skin,
I know that what we had was everything.
I'm still awake but I can't open my eyes.
Wish I was falling asleep while were all waiting to die.
And now the only sound that I can hear is my heart beating in my ears.
I'm left with nothing.