Everybody's Trying to Be My Villain

I think this song is about being stuck in a depressed, cynical and negative frame of mind. If you notice many verses start with a positive or semi-positive or even a neutral line, then is quickly followed up with a negative line. It is almost as if you are observing or thinking something that is either neutral or positive and immediately a negative thought pops in your head to negate it. Everybody is trying to be my villain — is egotistical, cynical and paranoid (signs of depression). The whole world really has nothing better to do but spend their time doing everything they can to piss you off? But sometimes life does feel that way. It sounds negative, but from a psychological standpoint it is positive. If egocentrism and paranoia are negative than why would our brain produce those things? It is because there is a positive payoff. As Zen teacher Cheri Huber explains it - they make us the center of attention. While I was unaware of the vacancy — Others are aggressive, being villains, getting rid of their anger at me; but I had no idea there was a vacancy; I am stumbling through life ambivalent and not really paying attention. Like many depressed people do, just going through the motions. Maybe someday I will not be destitute — is somewhat positive. It shows he is trying to retain hope, but his bar is pretty low. (he didn’t say maybe I’ll be rich, he’s basically saying maybe I won’t always be a bum). Immediately the negative thought kicks in and says — And I will be kicked by a better brand of boot. This is the depressive and cynical follow-up thought. It’s saying that even if life gets better in some ways (not so destitute) that I’ll still be getting kicked around by others the rest of my life, but maybe, if I’m lucky, those kicking me around will be a better class of people. That’s a pretty cynical outlook on life. He talks about being grateful because even being treated like crap is still some form of attention (psychological payoff I referred to earlier), again trying to see the positive. But this is immediately followed up with a negative thought of being bitter and misunderstood. For those who suffer from depression, they desperately need a helping hand (although they rarely ask for it). He asks for helping hand and they only lift a finger. From the saying, “he didn’t lift a finger to help”, meaning to do the bare minimum. (At first I thought it was referring to giving him the middle finger as a response to his request). The immediate negative thought afterwards was that the reason they didn’t help was because they would lose their grip. They are looking out for themselves and this is considered selfish. Even so, he responds positively and says that he understands. He has empathy for them, although they don’t have empathy for him. Going through life like that can make you depressed. You always feel that you are giving and others are taking. You want to stand up for yourself, but your good nature won’t let you. Your good nature won’t blame others, it will blame you. Enter depression. He follows up with the line about breaking bottles on a sinking ship (make a fuss or make matters worse). He can’t do this because like psychology and Zen teaches, it all starts with childhood; it was how he was raised.
Well, those are my thoughts. Or perhaps it’s all pure projection!