Fight or Flight

We fled from wars and the bombs
That leveled homes to the land of opportunity
I still remember that airplane view
Of toy cities and greenery
Oh, I was only 8 yeas old but I remember well
Mixed feelings of excitement and being scared as hell
Our first year here must be the hardest of our lives
I've never seen my mother cry so many times
I remember that I always missed my dad
But we joked a lot, thank God for that
I'd get lost inside my mind when I'd start day dreaming
Escape was my solution for just about everything
Is your life only what you want to, only what you want to believe?
Do you see only what you want to, only what you want yourself to see?
(Is this my life? 'Cause I've been so confused
My memory, it lies to me, it's often of no use
Is this my life? 'Cause I've just gotten used to
Running from what bothers me and starting over new)
But yet what would I be without my memory?
I remember I tried so hard to fit in
And learn to speak this language fluently
Inside I never felt like part of the crowd
And somehow knew that I could never be
I felt truly alive with paper and a pen
Expressing my emotions vividly
And how I could put down what I couldn't say
Became a life sustaining part of me
I'd get so lost inside the world I was creating
Reality would disappear and so would everything
Is your life only what you want to
Only what you want to believe?
Do you see only what you want to
Only what you want yourself to see?
In the blink of an eye
22 years passed me by and left me what I am
Someone that I'm still trying to understand
In the blink of an eye
A whole lifetime has left me with these choices
That I've made and the consequences of my actions