E.S.T.

Throughout the entire song, the narrator is going from reality to fantasy (or an illusion); as he repeatedly says: "If you tell me to jump then I'll die" -reality "In my dreams I'm there" -fantasy "I always hoped that I'd learn how to fly" -reality "In my dreams I'm there" -fantasy

So, the narrator, I believe, is in a mental institution (like the one in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.) When the narrator says "If you tell me to jump then I'll die" I think he is saying that his life in in someone else's hands. Then says "In my dreams I'm there" I think he is alluding to where he thinks he is going after he dies. Although, I think when he says this line, it is a drug induced illusion of where he thinks he is going.

"You can tie my hands to the walls But you can't tie my dreams to this place"

The first line is an analogy. When he says "walls", he is referring to the foundation that is keeping him from fulfilling his dreams (as he said before: I always hoped that I'd learn to fly - this is the narrator defying the laws that govern humanity. i.e, going beyond the walls of what we build our principles and fundamentals on.)

The second line is the narrator saying that he will not give in to being reintegrated into society, even if the people who are controlling him do preform EST. He would rather die than give into the "social norm" (which is a seriously fucked up concept.)

"I might fall like a rock from your heart But you won't see me fall from grace"

I think he switches to the illusions ... or perhaps memories in his head. I think the narrator was in love with someone. I think that the person he was in love with was there with him before he was admitted to the asylum. Perhaps there with him for a long time and finally there was a breaking point. So the person that he was in love with, he feels like they just dropped him like a stone, as if he was never really important to them. So he bites back by saying (in a spiteful way) "But you won't see me fall from grace". I think here he is saying: "yeah, thanks for fucking me over in here; I'm not crazy, I am just severely depressed by this shock of you just dumping me in a mental bin. Now I have nothing to live for, I want you to watch me die, or at least, I will scar you by killing myself and it's your fault." That's my take on that.

"Fate always loses hold" -changing his destiny; he is going to kill himself before the doctors and nurses do. "Like electric sparks in my heart" -alluding to EST "Fate always loses hold" "Now be a good girl and do what you're told" -spitefully saying, be naive and do what the people who hold control tell you to do.

"I leave my memoirs in blood on the floor And my fears with the nurse on the stairs"

Well, we all know what a memoir is and when he says that he is writing them in his blood on the floor, I am pretty sure that means that he is writing in his blood. When he says, "And my fears with the nurse on the stairs," I think that his fears are actually drugs. Perhaps liquid LSD, doctors used to test it out on mental patients back in the 30's. And it is the nurse that was bringing him his dose.

"I'm only going where you'll be some day"

Well, since he killed himself, and that is a sin, I think he is referring to hell. He is also talking about the person who had left him, and broke his heart... betrayed him. He is obviously not very forgiving of this, and curses the person who left him by saying that what they did to him is equally as bad as him killing himself.

"So don't say, 'Rest In Peace' in your prayers"

Again, he is saying, he isn't in a pleasant place, and he doesn't want the person who betrayed him to be in a very nice place either.

"I hope you, remember me I hope you, never pretend for me I hope you, remember me I hope you"

There is the importance of repetition. "I hope you, remember me" is him telling the person he loved, as he lay dying, that he doesn't want them to forget that the reason he killed himself was because he couldn't handle being in the asylum any longer. And the very reason that he was in the asylum was because of the betrayal of the person he loved. As for the "never pretend for me", I think he is telling said person he loved that he doesn't want them to pretend that they still loved him, after all that happened. So as to just save face.

Anyways, that's my take on this haunting song.