Have Yourself A Lonely Little Christmas

i was driving up the northbound
it's so lonely here in texas
miss the changing of the seasons blow you away
it's a cold and dark december
frost is nipping at my fingers
when distance takes its toll you pull fast away
my darling i know
when morning shares its light
the snow has finally come
this peace is not quite
and i am not home
i'm checking my list twice
and cursing at the cold
cause i am not fine
and this is not home
i have taken you for granted
i have taken more than i gave
i have taken all your love and thrown it away
but if i cut through the silence and listen deep
i can still hear you breathing softly in my sheets
there is safety in that sound a promise in each breathe
that as long as i breathe i will love you to death
when morning shares its light
the snow has finally come
this peace is not quite
and i am not home
i'm checking my list twice
and cursing at the cold
cause i am not fine
and this is not home
every cell signals distress
my mind on alert my muscles are so tense
digging deep to find what i need
yet stuck on the surface cause i'm afraid to leave
bitter winds push me below this christmas i follow
let's see where this hole goes