Brought to You by Drinkin

Showed up drunk one Christmas Eve
Made mom so mad she had to leave
Dad grabbed me by the collar, said
"What the hell are you thinkin"
Another fine moment in my life
Brought to you by drinkin
I stole a little boat from our neighbors yard
A little late night fishin
Thought, "this won't be hard"
Out on the middle of the river
And the damn thing started sinkin
Another fine moment in my life
Brought to you by drinkin
I guess it hasn't been all bad
I think about the good times that I've had
And as a matter of fact
I think I've learned a thing or two
Like fruit and beer don't mix
Purple shots were made for chicks
And make the double shorts (?)
The cheaper you start winkin (?)
My life is just one fine moment after the other
All brought to you by drinkin
I had a few too many at my buddy's bar
Like I told, you know what
I hopped right in the car
And then my license was gone
When I saw the red and blue blinkin
Just another fine moment in my life
Brought to you by drinkin
I guess it hasn't been all bad
I think about the good times that I've had
And as a matter of fact
I think I've learned a thing or two
Like you can do the left of the white
And the right of the yellow
When the cop walks up beneath the light you say "hello"
Mean it when you swear it'll never happen again
My life is just one fine moment after the other
All brought to you by drinkin
And if not for those 15 beers
I might have been paralyzed with fear
Instead of saying "hey cutie
How do you like my singin"
I never dreamt I was hittin on my future of wife
That might've been the finest moment of my life
And it was brought to you by drinkin
This life, is brought to you by drinkin
Preceding message was proudly brought to you by...
Drinkin