The Assumption Song

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock,
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick,
Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and play things and at a half passed four,
There came a young lady she looked like a
Pretty, young creature,
She sat on the grass, she pulled up her dress
And she showed them her
Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy duck,
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children, so they would not spit,
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt,
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock,
He looked like a man with a sizable
Home in the country, with a big fence out front,
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
Little pet dog, who was subject to fits,
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands with a movement so quick,
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy so tasty made of butterscotch,
And then he'd spread whip cream all over her
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf,
If you think this is dirty
You can go fuck yourself!