Thinking

You know what I'm thinking
No, I don't mean that as a question
Not as a way to say how close we once were
Now that I've got you on the line
These calls coming more often
I'm thinking I should tell you I guess I met someone
But no, I leave that fact out
It's just nice to finally hear from you
After all those months of pain and pills and programs
So I hang up the phone
I know you're still doing your thing
Out in California
New York hasn't changed the way I sleep
Blankets and covers pulled close to me
But instead of you there's a slightly taller body
She's a woman of style and class
But that's not why I love her
It's when we're laying there she can tell me what makes her scared
I wish it was me not loving her back
She's a jetsetter I've had to catch with an agenda
That may or may not include me
Here is where our stories meet
Where our narratives collide
We'll never get it right
We'll never be sober enough to try
And we find each other like foreign voices
Adrift until we collide
And we find each other like fallen breaths
Adrift until we die
I've loved too many or too few
I can't decide
I've got a heart the size of Texas
But, man, that pump has run dry