The Ladies' Basic Freedom Polka

The ladies of the neighbourhood are fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fundamental liberties
The sufferagettes are at it again
with a low and underhand stratagem
leading the fight for womanly rights
by pinching the bottoms of gentlemen
The ladies of the neighbourhood fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fundamental liberties
Gentlemen, don't stroll alone;
beware those women, they're widely known
for their marksmanship their lobster grip
they're quick to strike and they strike to the bone
The ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fundamental liberties
They advance libertarian views
with the speed of incontinent kangaroos
with a vampire's wail their hungry nails
will sink into your bulging troos'
The ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they f-feel to be fundamental liberties
They've been where no women have been before
Up lord mayor's petticoats, barrister's drawers
they're known to have poked up a horse guard's cloak
and many a butcher's pinnafore
The ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fundamental liberties
Your chef isn't safe when they break loose
In his kitchen he'll be brutally seduced
A yelp, a scream, a clatter of tureens
and lo, and behold, your cook is goosed
The ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fundamental liberties
They had a vicar with a fearful tweak
plucking at his cassock with animal shrieks
with a priestly wince he stuck to his principles
and turned the other cheek
The ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhood
by taking what they feel to be fu-fundamental liberties