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Two Handed Handshake Lyrics
His two handed handshake
Says he's so glad to meet you
His one silver earring
Says he parties on weekends
He churns through the channels
When he's watching the TV
He recites lines from movies
When he's trying to be funny
Guys, it's like we're not even trying
Yeah, she danced with that one guy
She must know we're watching
It seems like less people
Than were here just last weekend
She's still pretty pissed
About her ex's new trick
There were stares
And glares and names
Girls, you know you're not really helping
I don't think that you'll find love
In some bathroom at some club
I know some kids who didn't come back
We had First Ave. on Fridays
We're pirates at port
We go in and we get high,
Two at a time
We get drunk on the sports
We're falling into bed
With our television sets
We're watching movies
That we've already seen
Guys, it's like we're not even trying
You dress like contestants
At some desparate paegent
You fall asleep in your makeup
You wake up with a blemish
You're making up your mind
About the drinks after work
It's such a gossipy office
Girls, you're gonna find someone
You don't have to rush it
You're too young to force your crushes
You don't have to rush it
You're too young to fake your crushes
Oooh
Guys, I'm pretty sure that we can put it back together
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another
Guys, I'm pretty sure that we can put it back together
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another
I don't think we'll get the truth
From kids with stickers on their boots
I know some kids who didn't come back
From the plywood painted black
We gotta try a little harder
We gotta be a little better
We gotta pull it back together
Says he's so glad to meet you
His one silver earring
Says he parties on weekends
When he's watching the TV
He recites lines from movies
When he's trying to be funny
She must know we're watching
It seems like less people
Than were here just last weekend
About her ex's new trick
There were stares
And glares and names
In some bathroom at some club
I know some kids who didn't come back
We're pirates at port
We go in and we get high,
Two at a time
We get drunk on the sports
With our television sets
We're watching movies
That we've already seen
At some desparate paegent
You fall asleep in your makeup
You wake up with a blemish
About the drinks after work
It's such a gossipy office
You're too young to force your crushes
You don't have to rush it
You're too young to fake your crushes
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another
And girls, you gotta try to be nice to one another
From kids with stickers on their boots
I know some kids who didn't come back
From the plywood painted black
We gotta be a little better
We gotta pull it back together
Song Info
Submitted by
shrodes On Jul 02, 2008
More The Hold Steady
Stuck Between Stations
You Can Make Him Like You
First Night
Citrus
Chillout Tent
Add your song meanings, interpretations, facts, memories & more to the community.
Amazing song, I feel this should have been on the CD (instead of Cutters)
Good song, but its not better than anything on Stay Postive.
One For the Cutters is essential to the album's storyline and a great song. There's no way it should have been cut for this.
I believe the line is “We had First Ave on Fridays – We’re pirates in port”
Not as sure – but I think it should be “It's such a gossipy office”
shrodes- this song is one of the bonus tracks on Stay Positve
I agree with Shrodes, it should be on the album, but not instead of One For The Cutters, I love that track, I don't see why people don't like it so much.
Yeah Sapphire sounds like a B-side to me.
One of my two favorites from Stay Positive. The other being Ask Her for Some Adderol. Both bonus tracks... don't know why.
My favorite song as well. It's up there for me with Stuck Between Stations
I really like the reference to First Ave in Minneapolis. I'm pissed that I couldn't get tickets to the show with them and the drive-by truckers. Sold out way to quick. I agree though solid song but it kind of reminds me of girls you can make him like you in a way.
is it "he turns through channels"?
@Gruber: Yeah Sapphire isn't a great song, I agree, but it IS a song that ties in with the wider THS mythology, and this one isn't. I prefer mythology songs on albums instead of songs like this one, which is good but nonessential.