The Kiss Song

I feel like a coffee mug
I feel like a missing sock
I feel like a quiet thud
I feel like an aftershock
I feel like the shirt you leave behind
When you go on vacation
I feel like I can't just let this slide
So you are on probation
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to answer to my fist
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to read the enclosed book list
If I ever let you kiss me again
You won't hold me to rationality
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to change your whole personality
I feel like the skimmed part
In a bucket of skim milk
I feel like the warm heart
Of a cow that you just killed
I feel like a delicious milkshake
At a table of vegans
I feel like a piece of devil's food cake
Possessed by asparagus demons
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to promise not to bite
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to listen if we fight
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll have to talk about morality
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll have to change your whole personality
I feel like brand new strings
On a piece of shit guitar
I feel like all sorts of things
But mostly I feel like crap so far
I feel like I wanna sing a song
Where the singer sings they're feeling sad
We'll shit, we already are (You're right!)
So let's make the last chorus totally rad
If I ever let you kiss me again
[mumble mumble]
If I ever let you kiss me again
Something that rhymes with that
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll adjust your terse mentality
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll have to change your whole personality