My Whole Family...

Every time I go to dinner
it seems like I’m getting a little bit thinner.
I'll sit down at the breakfast table
I can talk, but they’re not able.
When I look at them I find
there's a single question on their mind.
I wish it could go back to the way it was
It’s not easy no because...
My whole family thinks I’m gay
I guess its always been that way.
Maybe its cause of the way I walk,
that makes them think that I like...boys.
The Goddamn question just won’t go away
‘cause i get asked every single day.
But the way they ask it is no disguise,
like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
This is the worst, baby this was my fear
Now their opinions are crystal clear.
My whole family now is shocked,
I'm in the closet and the door is locked.
Now my glory days are gone,
I was John Elway now I’m Elton John.
My whole family now suspects,
that watching Spongebob had side-effects.
But I’m not gay and that’s what I said,
If I'm gay then God strike me dead.
Just cause I go to an all-guys school,
Doesn’t mean Justin Timberlake makes me drool.
When I go outside, what do I see?
The clouds in the sky spell "F-A-G."
I think that God might think I’m gay,
what does he know anyway.
My grandma gave me a present just last year,
and the card said, "Happy Birthday queer!"
My whole family thinks I’m "fab."
There's a guys butt, hey Bo, take a stab!
Why doesn't he get women, there’s no other way,
It’s cause I'm lanky, not cause I'm gay.
Just cause I'm afraid of the snow,
or my favorite color is, the rainbow.
I don’t mean to yell but I fear I must,
‘cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust.
Even my boyfriend thinks I’m gay...just kidding.
You all probably think I'm gay,
man this song is counterproductive...
la la la la la...
Cause my whole family thinks I'm gay,
what am I supposed to say?
Baby you gotta’ see right through the haze,
Easy-Bake oven was just a phase.
My whole family thinks I'm queer,
that is all I ever hear.
But I’ve been as straight as a ramp,
if you don’t count Bible camp.