Spare Change

I just listened to the audio book, "Wolf at the Table", tonight. This song plays right after Augusten's final few sentences.

"Even though the sky is still bright, I can see the moon and beside it three stars, or are they planets? I know that behind these three stars in the darkness that is hidden now by light, there are other planets and numberless stars, whole galaxies just like ours, other worlds. And maybe on one of them, there is another me. And I am wearing my green robe with my name stitched onto the chest. And I am standing on stage as somebody hands me my diploma. And out in the audience, all I can see is the radiance of one man whose eyes are so shining blue, they blind me. And he is smiling and weeping and he is my father and he loves me with all the force of the expanding universe. He looks up at me and mouths the words, "Very much, I love you."

God, it broke my heart. What a touchingly sad book from Augusten, and what a hauntingly beautiful song from Ingrid. This song very much has to do with the realization Augusten came to that his father really missed out on his son, on what could be his greatest achievement...to be a good, loving father.

Aching, longing save all your hands for me. 'Cause I won't share them with anything, anyone else.

I grow from you branches from a dying tree, but I could save you if only you looked for me.

You can break me, I'm a piggy bank on the floor. Watch all my spare change roll out the door. Watch all my spare change roll across the floor. Watching me through your glass door.

Save your smile for everybody else you see. 'Cause I don't want the one that you make for me.

You can break me, I'm a piggy bank on the floor. Watch all my spare change roll out the door. Watch all my spare change roll across the floor. Watching me through your glass door.

The more that try, the more that you pry yourself away.