One Year Later

I'm living in this world without you
watching my own life pass me by.
I'm living in this world without you
being a bystander to my own life.
I'm on the outside trying to look in.
I need to feel connected
or else I'm going to lose it.
I'm waiting for my destiny to manifest in front of me.
The one thing I was sure of,
the one thing I knew,
the only thing I thought I had
I fucking blew.
I'm showering at two in the morning
so no once can see me clean the filth I have come to be.
How can I focus on tomorrow when I can't live today.
I wanted hope, I wanted change.
The stars have fallen from the sky.
I wanted hope, I wanted change,
but now I'm ready to die.
You can't kill someone who's already dead.
You can't even begin to understand the thoughts in my head.
I beat my self over and over again about nothing,
just sensing reality is dead.
I hate myself more than you ever can.
And I'll hate myself until the very end.
I lost my heart the day the world went cold.
The sun doesn't rise to heat this godforsaken earth.
An image of you appeared as I began to cry.
An image of you appeared as I slowly died.
Cynical of this world, pessimistic as a whole.
Cynical of this world, pessimistic as a whole,
living in the biggest lie,
calling purgatory my only home.
I'm living in the biggest lie,
calling purgatory my only home.