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The Princess and the Newt Lyrics
As I was using a cocktail umbrella to clean out the crepes from under my nails,
Maureen dug in, “evidence of absence is not
evidence of absinthe”
which meant I should know the difference between silver and tin,
which I do, so I stood up to dish it right back,
and predictably “crack” – the wooden garnish now impaled so I resat.
“Coincidentally Chris, this is no coincidence”
that meant I should take the blame for every time I was late
so I began my list as I did every day
with a series of apologies that will never be seen,
I crumpled it up and i threw it at Maureen and I said,
“Next to your name there's a song you should know.”
She read what I wrote:
“Calling All Men Between The Ages of 22 and 40, Calling All Men Between The Ages.”
and with a sigh she began:
“Yes, if I recall the lyrics ran ‘Oh please, massage my feet’”
and we fell back to sleep by 8:38.
Maureen dug in, “evidence of absence is not
evidence of absinthe”
which meant I should know the difference between silver and tin,
which I do, so I stood up to dish it right back,
and predictably “crack” – the wooden garnish now impaled so I resat.
“Coincidentally Chris, this is no coincidence”
that meant I should take the blame for every time I was late
so I began my list as I did every day
with a series of apologies that will never be seen,
I crumpled it up and i threw it at Maureen and I said,
“Next to your name there's a song you should know.”
She read what I wrote:
“Calling All Men Between The Ages of 22 and 40, Calling All Men Between The Ages.”
and with a sigh she began:
“Yes, if I recall the lyrics ran ‘Oh please, massage my feet’”
and we fell back to sleep by 8:38.
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