The Scotsman

Well, Scotsman clad in kilt,
left the bar one evenin' fair.
And one could tell by how he walked,
that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could
no longer keep his feet,
then he stumbled off into the grass
to sleep beside the street.
Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!
Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!
He stumbled off into the grass
to sleep beside the street.
-
About that time, two young and lovely
girls just happened by.
One says to the other
with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleeping Scotsman
so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they
don't wear beneath the kilt?"
Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!
Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!
"I wonder if it's true what they
don't wear beneath the kilt?"
-
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman
quiet as could be.
Lifted up his kilt about
an inch so they could see.
And there behold for them to view
beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God
had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!
Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!
Was nothing more than God
had graced him with upon his birth.
-
They marveled for a moment
then one said: "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend
before we move along."
As a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon
tied into a bow.
Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt
did lift and show.
Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!
Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!
Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt
did lift and show.
-
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call
and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt
and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice, he says
to what's before his eyes:
"Well, lad, I don't know where you've been
but I see you've won first prize!"
Ring-ding-diddle-iddle-aye-dee-oh!
Ring-die-diddilee-aye-oh!
"Well, lad, I don't know where you've been
but I see you've won first prize!"