When I woke up today
I was dizzy in my brain
It's not that I like to feel this way
The wagon's shaking and I feel it start to tilt
And I just go tumbling right back in a whirlwind again
Where I find myself at the end
Well I cannot seem to hold on to a fucking thought
This whirlwind's got me and I'm racing out the door
It's nice for a while, but when I try to focus
All of my convictions come crashing down around me again
I find myself all dried up, in the end
I stare out my window
I smell a sour message coming
And it hovers around this house
Like some sort of dooming cloud
I cannot seem to keep my thoughts within a line
This whirlwind brings it up, the dust within the storm
The razor pulls until I haven't got no more
And I just go tumbling right back in the whirlwind again
It's been a week now and I haven't seen the daylight
And all my friends are wondering, how I can put together
At my feet the wagon's in a million pieces
So I've got to find the stuff to build it all back up again
Well I cannot seem to keep my thoughts within a line
This whirlwind brings it up, the dust within the storm
The razor pulls until I haven't got no more
And I just go crumbling right back in the whirlwind again
When I woke up today I was dizzy in my brain
It's not that I like to feel this way
We rigged a pull up, and I haven't got no more
And all my convictions are crashing down around me again
I'll find myself once again in the end
I was dizzy in my brain
It's not that I like to feel this way
The wagon's shaking and I feel it start to tilt
And I just go tumbling right back in a whirlwind again
Where I find myself at the end
This whirlwind's got me and I'm racing out the door
It's nice for a while, but when I try to focus
All of my convictions come crashing down around me again
I find myself all dried up, in the end
I smell a sour message coming
And it hovers around this house
Like some sort of dooming cloud
This whirlwind brings it up, the dust within the storm
The razor pulls until I haven't got no more
And I just go tumbling right back in the whirlwind again
And all my friends are wondering, how I can put together
At my feet the wagon's in a million pieces
So I've got to find the stuff to build it all back up again
This whirlwind brings it up, the dust within the storm
The razor pulls until I haven't got no more
And I just go crumbling right back in the whirlwind again
It's not that I like to feel this way
We rigged a pull up, and I haven't got no more
And all my convictions are crashing down around me again
I'll find myself once again in the end
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Could be taken for a drug problem, but I'm pretty sure it's about bipolar disorder, what with the bouts of mania and then crushing depression.
I agree with the above poster. It's almost difficult for me to believe this song might be about anything other than of bi-polar depression. I also want to mention that I think Mia uses the term "convictions" as both a reference to her sense of guilt (conviction by trial [and tribulation]).
"When I woke up today I was dizzy in my brain" (sounds like a panic attack or perhaps a general feeling of foreboding). "It's not that I like to feel this way" (she's differentiating her 'dizzy' from a state of drunkenness or 'high'). "The wagon's shaking and I feel it start to tilt" (she feels like her life is falling apart at the slightest provocation - this fear may be the cause of her own descent into depression). "And I just go tumbling right back in a whirlwind again, Where I find myself at the end" (the whirlwind [tornado] is ultimately symbolic of a cyclic feeling of powerlessness to the forces of nature (biochemistry/genetics)).
"Well I cannot seem to hold on to a fucking thought" (this is the opposite side of whirlwind - the maniac stage her thoughts are racing and she's full of exuberant energies - however, she also irritable over her inability to concentrate). This whirlwind's got me and I'm racing out the door (evidence she's hugely energetic) It's nice for a while, but when I try to focus (she's temporarily elated but when her energy wears down...) "All of my convictions come crashing down around me again, I find myself all dried up, in the end" (soon she's worn out and back where she began - depressed - but feeling a little worse for wear this time)
"I stare out my window" (depression/detachment) "I smell a sour message coming , And it hovers around this house, Like some sort of dooming cloud" (depression worsening - the mere fear of an oncoming depression causing a sense of hopelessness) "It's been a week now and I haven't seen the daylight And all my friends are wondering, how I can put together" (this time seems worse than the previous times.) "At my feet the wagon's in a million pieces" (she's feeling like her life has fallen apart) "So I've got to find the stuff to build it all back up again" (she feels like wholly new pieces of her are missing this time)
"The razor pulls until I haven't got no more" (she's maniac again and her mind-state and energy is quickly expended) "And I just go crumbling right back in the whirlwind again" (feeling like her life is of her control)
"We rigged a pull up, and I haven't got no more" (brilliant line about feeling like the situation is ultimately hopeless because it's happening all over again - pulling the wagon from the mud with her [very supportive] friends but she's tired of trying) "And all my convictions are crashing down around me again, I'll find myself once again in the end" (she's becoming despondent at this point - tired of the cycles).
I can't argue against the theory that this song is about bi-polar disorder or depression, but to me it seems more akin to alcoholism.
I can't argue against the theory that this song is about bi-polar disorder or depression, but to me it seems more akin to alcoholism.
How she talks about the wagon beginning to shake and tilt. It could be a more obvious nod the popular saying of "on the wagon," or more appropriately "falling off the wagon" in this case.
How she talks about the wagon beginning to shake and tilt. It could be a more obvious nod the popular saying of "on the wagon," or more appropriately "falling off the wagon" in this case.
Either way, awesome song.
Either way, awesome song.