Deceived Mad Pain [english]

Only birth is ambiguous
If you follow a path hesitantly
I would even fake my actual suffering
Licking the sweet honey out of the variable and disgusting receptacle
Averting my eyes, shivering, and then I repeat this utopia once again
Deceived mad pain
Pain of the embracing, "feeling of superiority"
The answer of this weird question "feeling of emptiness"
If this is the answer, I won't ask anymore...
But my aching ears
Don't hear anymore, nor the answer either, not even if someone would beat me with it
Fight against yourself and decay; that's what you want, isn't it? Come on, suffer, now!
It will break...fall and burst
If this would rule off this absurdity
Mad Rain…Mad Rain...Mad Rain...Mad rain
I feel the end coming
But...for me who forgot how to laugh, this simple step is just too hard to make
I don't have the courage anymore to make this simple step
If this is the answer, I won't ask anymore...but please tell me why...
Why do you agonize me? How many times must I repeat this fault
Throw away this indistinguishable feeling at least
Rip yourself, fall and burst
And all this absurdity